Monday, November 28, 2005

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Thanksgiving Weekend

So I had a four day weekend for Thanksgiving. Checked out the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade for a while. Then spent most of the rest of the weekend in South Jersey with the family. Dinner at Mom's, then did Atlantic City that night. I lost. Not too bad, but enough for me to not want to go back for a while.

Spent most of the rest of the weekend taking it easy. Did a bit of shopping. Saturday night leftovers at Jens, with a game night (Me, Jen, Jon, Mom, Suzy, Lauren, Kevin, Lisa). Balderdash, Taboo.

Now starting to grout my shower. Fun fun. But it turns up I have an attachment for my Dremel to cut tiles, so wohoo for me!

Anyway, back to work.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Grey Street

Oh look at how she listens.
She says nothing of what she thinks.
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out onto Grey Street.

But she thinks "Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dreamed myself a million times around the world
But I can't get out of this place."

Oh there's a loneliness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
Felt like cold blue ice in her heart.
When all the colors mix together
to grey. And it breaks her heart.

You know she wishes it was different
And she prays to God most every night.
And though she's quite sure He doesn't listen
There's a tiny hope in her He might.

She says I prayed
Although my prayers fall on deaf ears.
Am I supposed to take it on myself
to get out of this place?

Oh there's an emptiness inside her
and she'd do anything to fill it in.
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
Felt like cold blue ice in her heart.
You know she'd feel like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life.
She would change everything about her
Using colors bold and bright.
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart.

Saturday and solitude

I went down to South Jersey again this weekend. Primarily because Mom wanted me to help her with housework for the upcoming Thanksgiving festivities. Got that pretty much done by the afternoon. Also went to Costco and Target. Had the evening to myself. Watched some TV. Went to Sea Girt for the first time in a long time.

A couple of things:

One, I went to the boardwalk and there was absolutely nobody around. Not a single car. As I got out and started to walk along the boardwalk, I thought to myself, "perhaps this isn't a very safe thing to do". Then I realized that I'm in Sea Girt and I've been there a million times and there isn't anything to be concerned about. It's funny though has the New York mentality has set it, where I'm always assessing my surroundings.

I couldn't find anyone to play with Saturday night. Lauren was busy with Kevin, and Marc was out of town. I guess that's why I found myself back at the boardwalk in the first place. It's funny because I have changed so much of my life since I started going there ten years ago. I've gone to college, made a successful career, taken a job in the heart of Manhattan. And yet, some things haven't really changed at all. I still feel isolated and lonely. I still have so very few friends. I still feel like I don't fit in.

The third thing that being at the boardwalk made me think about was Kyle. She was the one who introduced me to Sea Girt and I was thinking back to that first summer. How happy I felt to spend that time with her, and in a completely platonic way. I sometimes wonder if I can get back to that place. It also got me thinking again about what she said to me a few weeks ago, where she said that "I still don't understand her". It's strange because I would consider her to be my best friend, and at this point my oldest friend. If I've known her longer than anybody, what is wrong with my communication skills where I still don't understand her after twelve years?

In other news, Suzy and Sam broke up. Or more appropriately, Sam broke up with Suzy. He's going off to Germany for a year next fall and whatever. This normally wouldn't affect me much except Suzy and Naomi have formed a newfound camaraderie over IM, and Naomi called me on Sunday afternoon to find out what is wrong with the male species. Ick.

Ok, enough for now.

Monday, November 7, 2005

Fast Times in Long Island City

So it's been a while since I have written anything. To quickly recap since the last entry:

I started working at GridApp. They like me. I'm growing pointy hair (ala Dilbert's boss)

Naomi and I broke up. I feel pretty crappy about it, but what choice did I have?

I dumped my apartment in Bridgewater and moved to Long Island City (Queens, NYC). My commute went from 1:45 with a change in Newark and a 20 minute walk down to 35 minutes (1 subway ride that drops me off a block from work). Wohoo. It also means my $280.00 train fare went down to a $75.00 monthly subway pass.

Something else happened. Generally speaking it was a good thing.

My car got towed the second day I was living in NYC. It's now parked at Mom's house where Lauren is making use of it. I miss my car, but I think I'm going to sell it.

Jen is still pregnant.

Lauren moved in with Kevin, and Kevin's mommy and daddy.

I evidently have Internet access from my kitchen. Perhaps Time Warner won't get my money after all.

Does that cover everything? I think so. Will post some pictures of my apartment when I get the digital camera working again (and the place is a bit more organized from the move).