Went to Jen and Jon's for New Years Eve. Suzy, Sam, Lauren, Kevin, all came over for a while and we played a board game.
Sold the car. Will deliver it next weekend. Have to get a certified check out to GMAC in tomorrow's mail.
Earlier today I was comparing this New Years Eve to last year. It was quite a step down from celebrating it in Times Square. And I certainly didn't get my picture on the front page of the New York Times either.
The fact that I resorted to spending it with my family made me feel like I didn't have any friends. Otherwise I would have gone to somebody's party.
Came back from South Jersey early this afternoon. Spent the afternoon alone. Went out and got a hot chocolate from Starbucks.
Yeah, I'm starting to feel all lonely and sorry for myself again. I had thought putting myself in New York City would alleviate the feelings of isolation. I thought I would make new friends and have people to hang out with. It makes me wonder why I gave up what I had with Naomi, but deep down I know that I would have been with her just so I didn't feel alone and that wouldn't be right.
The next two weeks at work are going to be Hell. I have to write the entire patching backend for the Clarity product and have it in test by the 12th. Ick.
Going to get to bed relatively early tonight. Have to get to work early tomorrow.
Ciao.
Monday, January 2, 2006
Monday, December 26, 2005
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas, or Merry [insert preferred diety/savior/miracle here].
or for you computer types:
#!/bin/sh
echo "Merry Christmas" > greeting
if [ "$FAITH" = "jewish" ]; then
EVENT="Chanukkah"
elif [ "$FAITH" = "pastafarian" ]; then
EVENT="Flying Spaghetti Monster"
fi
sed "s/Christmas/$EVENT/" greeting
Went down to South Jersey for the weekend. Christmas eve with Mom/Jen/Jon/Suzy/Lauren/Kevin/Richie/Marc/Chrissy/Grandma/Wuchters. Then Atlantic City with Marc/Chrissy/Richie. I lost (what else is new?). So did Marc and Rich. For the second time in a row though Chrissy walked away with more than she came with, so I need to find out what her trick/strategy is.
Christmas morning went to Jen's for breakfast. Present opening, etc. Got some nice clothes, a bunch of new brain teasers, etc. Think I may take a couple of the puzzles to work. That night went back to Jen's and played "Star Wars, Lego Edition" on her X-Box for four hours. I got a kick out of it.
Today went to Borders and picked up "The Puzzle Palace" using Marc's gift card. Didn't know it was still in print and I had not read it yet, so this was a pleasant find.
What else happened this week? Naomi's mother came by on Tuesday and I tried to fix Annabelle's laptop. Failed. Such is life. Oh yeah, and there was this "transit strike" thing that was a real pain in the ass. I had to carpool with four other guys who live in Astoria. I guess it was some good bonding time, but still the 3 hour per day commute reminded me of before I moved into the city. On the more humorous side, Mom called the first day and asked if I had walked across the Brooklyn Bridge to get to work, and I had to explain to her how that would have been a poor decision on my part since I don't live in Brooklyn (I suppose I could have walked across the Brooklyn bridge if I had felt the urge to take a seven mile detour on foot).
Ok, big day tomorrow. Off to sleep.
or for you computer types:
#!/bin/sh
echo "Merry Christmas" > greeting
if [ "$FAITH" = "jewish" ]; then
EVENT="Chanukkah"
elif [ "$FAITH" = "pastafarian" ]; then
EVENT="Flying Spaghetti Monster"
fi
sed "s/Christmas/$EVENT/" greeting
Went down to South Jersey for the weekend. Christmas eve with Mom/Jen/Jon/Suzy/Lauren/Kevin/Richie/Marc/Chrissy/Grandma/Wuchters. Then Atlantic City with Marc/Chrissy/Richie. I lost (what else is new?). So did Marc and Rich. For the second time in a row though Chrissy walked away with more than she came with, so I need to find out what her trick/strategy is.
Christmas morning went to Jen's for breakfast. Present opening, etc. Got some nice clothes, a bunch of new brain teasers, etc. Think I may take a couple of the puzzles to work. That night went back to Jen's and played "Star Wars, Lego Edition" on her X-Box for four hours. I got a kick out of it.
Today went to Borders and picked up "The Puzzle Palace" using Marc's gift card. Didn't know it was still in print and I had not read it yet, so this was a pleasant find.
What else happened this week? Naomi's mother came by on Tuesday and I tried to fix Annabelle's laptop. Failed. Such is life. Oh yeah, and there was this "transit strike" thing that was a real pain in the ass. I had to carpool with four other guys who live in Astoria. I guess it was some good bonding time, but still the 3 hour per day commute reminded me of before I moved into the city. On the more humorous side, Mom called the first day and asked if I had walked across the Brooklyn Bridge to get to work, and I had to explain to her how that would have been a poor decision on my part since I don't live in Brooklyn (I suppose I could have walked across the Brooklyn bridge if I had felt the urge to take a seven mile detour on foot).
Ok, big day tomorrow. Off to sleep.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Thanksgiving Weekend
So I had a four day weekend for Thanksgiving. Checked out the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade for a while. Then spent most of the rest of the weekend in South Jersey with the family. Dinner at Mom's, then did Atlantic City that night. I lost. Not too bad, but enough for me to not want to go back for a while.
Spent most of the rest of the weekend taking it easy. Did a bit of shopping. Saturday night leftovers at Jens, with a game night (Me, Jen, Jon, Mom, Suzy, Lauren, Kevin, Lisa). Balderdash, Taboo.
Now starting to grout my shower. Fun fun. But it turns up I have an attachment for my Dremel to cut tiles, so wohoo for me!
Anyway, back to work.
Spent most of the rest of the weekend taking it easy. Did a bit of shopping. Saturday night leftovers at Jens, with a game night (Me, Jen, Jon, Mom, Suzy, Lauren, Kevin, Lisa). Balderdash, Taboo.
Now starting to grout my shower. Fun fun. But it turns up I have an attachment for my Dremel to cut tiles, so wohoo for me!
Anyway, back to work.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Grey Street
Oh look at how she listens.
She says nothing of what she thinks.
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out onto Grey Street.
But she thinks "Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dreamed myself a million times around the world
But I can't get out of this place."
Oh there's a loneliness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
Felt like cold blue ice in her heart.
When all the colors mix together
to grey. And it breaks her heart.
You know she wishes it was different
And she prays to God most every night.
And though she's quite sure He doesn't listen
There's a tiny hope in her He might.
She says I prayed
Although my prayers fall on deaf ears.
Am I supposed to take it on myself
to get out of this place?
Oh there's an emptiness inside her
and she'd do anything to fill it in.
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
Felt like cold blue ice in her heart.
You know she'd feel like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life.
She would change everything about her
Using colors bold and bright.
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart.
She says nothing of what she thinks.
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out onto Grey Street.
But she thinks "Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dreamed myself a million times around the world
But I can't get out of this place."
Oh there's a loneliness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
Felt like cold blue ice in her heart.
When all the colors mix together
to grey. And it breaks her heart.
You know she wishes it was different
And she prays to God most every night.
And though she's quite sure He doesn't listen
There's a tiny hope in her He might.
She says I prayed
Although my prayers fall on deaf ears.
Am I supposed to take it on myself
to get out of this place?
Oh there's an emptiness inside her
and she'd do anything to fill it in.
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
Felt like cold blue ice in her heart.
You know she'd feel like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life.
She would change everything about her
Using colors bold and bright.
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart.
Saturday and solitude
I went down to South Jersey again this weekend. Primarily because Mom wanted me to help her with housework for the upcoming Thanksgiving festivities. Got that pretty much done by the afternoon. Also went to Costco and Target. Had the evening to myself. Watched some TV. Went to Sea Girt for the first time in a long time.
A couple of things:
One, I went to the boardwalk and there was absolutely nobody around. Not a single car. As I got out and started to walk along the boardwalk, I thought to myself, "perhaps this isn't a very safe thing to do". Then I realized that I'm in Sea Girt and I've been there a million times and there isn't anything to be concerned about. It's funny though has the New York mentality has set it, where I'm always assessing my surroundings.
I couldn't find anyone to play with Saturday night. Lauren was busy with Kevin, and Marc was out of town. I guess that's why I found myself back at the boardwalk in the first place. It's funny because I have changed so much of my life since I started going there ten years ago. I've gone to college, made a successful career, taken a job in the heart of Manhattan. And yet, some things haven't really changed at all. I still feel isolated and lonely. I still have so very few friends. I still feel like I don't fit in.
The third thing that being at the boardwalk made me think about was Kyle. She was the one who introduced me to Sea Girt and I was thinking back to that first summer. How happy I felt to spend that time with her, and in a completely platonic way. I sometimes wonder if I can get back to that place. It also got me thinking again about what she said to me a few weeks ago, where she said that "I still don't understand her". It's strange because I would consider her to be my best friend, and at this point my oldest friend. If I've known her longer than anybody, what is wrong with my communication skills where I still don't understand her after twelve years?
In other news, Suzy and Sam broke up. Or more appropriately, Sam broke up with Suzy. He's going off to Germany for a year next fall and whatever. This normally wouldn't affect me much except Suzy and Naomi have formed a newfound camaraderie over IM, and Naomi called me on Sunday afternoon to find out what is wrong with the male species. Ick.
Ok, enough for now.
A couple of things:
One, I went to the boardwalk and there was absolutely nobody around. Not a single car. As I got out and started to walk along the boardwalk, I thought to myself, "perhaps this isn't a very safe thing to do". Then I realized that I'm in Sea Girt and I've been there a million times and there isn't anything to be concerned about. It's funny though has the New York mentality has set it, where I'm always assessing my surroundings.
I couldn't find anyone to play with Saturday night. Lauren was busy with Kevin, and Marc was out of town. I guess that's why I found myself back at the boardwalk in the first place. It's funny because I have changed so much of my life since I started going there ten years ago. I've gone to college, made a successful career, taken a job in the heart of Manhattan. And yet, some things haven't really changed at all. I still feel isolated and lonely. I still have so very few friends. I still feel like I don't fit in.
The third thing that being at the boardwalk made me think about was Kyle. She was the one who introduced me to Sea Girt and I was thinking back to that first summer. How happy I felt to spend that time with her, and in a completely platonic way. I sometimes wonder if I can get back to that place. It also got me thinking again about what she said to me a few weeks ago, where she said that "I still don't understand her". It's strange because I would consider her to be my best friend, and at this point my oldest friend. If I've known her longer than anybody, what is wrong with my communication skills where I still don't understand her after twelve years?
In other news, Suzy and Sam broke up. Or more appropriately, Sam broke up with Suzy. He's going off to Germany for a year next fall and whatever. This normally wouldn't affect me much except Suzy and Naomi have formed a newfound camaraderie over IM, and Naomi called me on Sunday afternoon to find out what is wrong with the male species. Ick.
Ok, enough for now.
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